Is it odd that I've been cyber-stalkin' fine as hell guy? I've been so "hot and cold" with him...because I'm scared to death of liking him partly because I can't really have him right now and partly because I'm not sure if he'd hurt my feelings one day. It's not just his looks, though. It's his seemingly soulful side that lures me.

So, I stalk him on a music site where he plays different songs (Grooveshark)...and the more I listen to the music he plays on his playlist, the more I like him. It's like I'm connecting with him through his musical likes...and I like most of the songs he likes...and he has diverse music interests. From hootie and the blowfish to Average White Band to Teddy Pendergrass to Coltrane. Wow.

We hung out last friday and had a rockin' time at this small house party. It was so much fun. We laughed with some other folks (some couples)...smoked a hookah...listened to music...and generally had fun. Sigh. Loved it. But after, he kisses my cheek and says "thanks, lil homie, for coming out." And there we go again...back to the homie shit. but it's cool.

So I haven't texted or called him all week. don't need to. I'm in a good space. Cool with nothing or something. He can call if he wants to hang...and if he doesn't, I'm cool there too.

Thank goodness I haven't violated my "no friend" rule...otherwise, this ish could get complicated.

Oh, and "he looks at me like i'm perfect" guy has been incognito too...dah well. We'll see. He's been in NYC....so we'll just see. I'm just me and doing me, like fantasia says.

I'm out.